


What is Lance doing?

by StereotypicalScorpio



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Naruto running, anime was a mistake, jk, naruto - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 13:46:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15462735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StereotypicalScorpio/pseuds/StereotypicalScorpio
Summary: Hunk should have never woken up this morning. If he hadn't, none of this would have happened. Keith and Lance are fighting, he's pretty sure he just traumatized Pidge and now he sent a demon to attack their leader, Shiro.Yeah. Hunk should have never opened his damn mouth.





	What is Lance doing?

**Author's Note:**

> The summary legit makes this sound serious but it honestly isn't. Nothing about this story is serious. This is a 4 a.m. fever dream. All mistakes are mine, I am sorry if there are any misspellings, English is not my first language.

The silence is a blessing and a curse. After a few minutes of it, Lance got up and began racing up and down the room, practicing throwing his toys at specific targets, not that Hunk minded. His friend had odd hobbies, everyone these days does. Hunk could name his weird hobby involving rocks-

“… What is Lance doing?” Pidge asks, their voice hesitant yet bold, like any other young teen in space, as they point out whatever the hell Lance was currently doing.

Hunk puts down their device, mourning his place in the notes knowing that he is going to have to read the entire paragraph again to even understand it before turning his head, so he can look over to view his best friend, his bro, his compadre, only for his apprehension to turn into bitter acceptance. “He is practicing his ninja running,” is all he says wanting to leave it at that as he returns to the code that he and Pidge have been trying to decipher all morning, “ignore him, he eventually stops once he realizes no one is going to fight against him.”

Pidge frowns, “isn’t that a bit rude?” they ask, arms crossing, “plus, why is he practicing running in that position? It’s all wrong.” The green paladin eyes the others stance, hunched forward, arms at an odd angle behind him. Simply wrong.

“Don’t try and reason with him, Pidge, trust me, I already tried. If Lance says that running in that form makes him faster, then by the gods will he run faster.” In other words, don’t burst his bubble.

Pidge hesitates yet again, eyeing the red paladin running about before returning to their work, eyebrows furrowing in annoyance once they realize that they can practically hear Lance behind them now. They glance over at their teammate, stunned to find Hunk ignoring the other. “Does this happen often?” they ask, eyes trailing back over to Lance. “Wait. Why is he wearing a forehead protector?”

Hunk looks at the ceiling before letting out a long and suffering sigh, turning to face Pidge again, “Pidge. My darling. My other half of the Punk squad. Have… Have you ever heard of…” he trails off, unable to finish his sentence.

“Have I ever heard of what, Hunk?” Pidge places their hands on their hips, sounding annoyed, “Just spit it out, man, you’re leaving me with a cliff hanger.”

Hunk closes his eyes. A tear falls from his right eye as he opens them up once more. “Have you ever heard of anime?” he asks, voice calm, in a way that makes Pidge prickle up.

“Anime? Isn’t that short for animation, in other words, cartoons?” amusement coats Pidge’s tone, “I’ve heard of it. Doesn’t interest me, though, too many sexualized women for my taste.”

Hunk nods along, “well. Before we left earth, Lance found a new anime to get hooked on,” he winces as the red paladin runs past them, heckling the newly awaken Keith. “It’s a show about ninjas. The main character runs exactly like how Lance is currently running.”

“You’re joking,” Pidge blinks, their eyes flickering over to Keith and a rather hyperactive Lance, “please tell me you’re joking. Lance doesn’t actually believe that bull shit, does he?”

From somewhere within the castle, Shiro’s voice echoes through the halls, “Pidge! Language!”

Pidge twitches, their eye ticking as they begin to mutter something about nosy leaders. “Wait. What is Lance doing now?” they point, eyes growing wide with horror as the young Latino takes out- “are those fucking shuriken?!”

“Laaaaaanguaaaageeeee,” Shiro drawls out from wherever he’s hiding, probably in the comm room since there is no body for Pidge to glare at. “No more cursing in this castle!”

Keith opens his tired eyes only to dodge the poorly aimed shuriken, staring at the ninja stars with a shocked look before snapping his gaze over to Lance, glowering as the other laughs at him. “What the hell was that?” he snaps, “you could have seriously fucking injured me, Lance!”

“Shadow clone jutsu!” is all the brunette yells before throwing a smoke bomb on the floor and seriously where the hell did Lance even get that? When the smoke clears, the boy is gone, leaving a disappointed Hunk, bewildered Pidge, and a furious Keith behind.

“That’s it! His ass is mine!” Keith throws his jacket to the floor, needing all possible movement, “NARUTOOOOOO” he yells, bursting through the door and running off into the hallway, Lance’s startled yelp echoing a few moments later.

Pidge stays silent, brain reeling from the aftermath. “I don’t like anime,” they come to the conclusion, “it makes people weird.”

Hunk sighs, “oh you haven’t even heard about Otakus yet, Pidge.”

“Otakus?” they ask, voice strained, “what… never mind. I don’t want to know.”

Hunk lets out a soft hum, ignoring the sounds of a squabble coming from outside the room, acknowledging that at some point, Keith watched Naruto as well. He’s surrounded by nerds. Not that it’s bad… but one was enough.

“Hey wait a minute!” Pidge sits up, their small body shaking, “that prick! Oh, that fucking prick!” 

Hunk furrows his eyebrows, putting down his notes again, “what’s wrong, Pidge?”

“Why is it that when I curse, Shiro gets pissed at me, but when Keith curses he says nothing?!” anger brews in the youngers gaze, “I’m going to go talk to him. This is unfair treatment and I demand to be allowed to say fuck!”

Hunk feels sweat run down his brow, “w-wait, Pidge, you’re 14-”

Pidge’s gaze cuts deeply into Hunk’s soul. “Are you saying because of my age I am denied certain things?” they whisper, an evil entity forming behind them.

Hunk stays quiet, thinking to himself about how this all went wrong. It was never Zarkon or Lotor they had to worry about. It was never the Galra. The one person they should be worried about skinning them alive is standing before him and all Hunk can do is try and quench their ire before they start a murder spree. “Of course not.”

“Good. Now if you excuse me, I have a Shirogane to chew out. Just because Keith is his favorite doesn’t mean I am disallowed to say fuck.”

Hunk just wanted to decipher this code that they had received from Matt. He never wanted to explain anime or Lance’s odd running strategy. He never wanted to awaken a demon. Now he stays silent as said demon marches out of the room. The last thing Hunk sees before the doors close is Keith and Lance struggling against each other, shouting about how Lance’s running sucks. “It all started with the damn running,” he sighs.

“Hunk! Laaaanguaaa- Pidge? Pidge, what are you doing. Pidge, wait, can we talk about this? Keith! KEITH! SOS! SOS-” the comms goes down as soon as Shiro begins to scream. Not that it’s Hunks problem, no sir. 

He picks up the notes again, ignoring his team for the first time since they entered space. “Naruto isn’t even that good of an anime,” he mutters to himself, “it’s always been about Fruit Basket.”

**Author's Note:**

> I actually love Naruto, it's one of my favorite animes to date. But I also love Fruit Basket, so I guess I agree and disagree with Hunk lmao.


End file.
